Caring Enough To Confront
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Jesus on How To Deal With Disagreements MATTHEW 18:15-35
STEP 1: PRIVATELY CONFRONTING THE PERSON
The first step is to try to settle the issue in private if you can.
• Private disagreements are best settled by sitting down with the other person in a safe and comfortable environment over a tea or coffee and sharing what's bothering you.
• Don't go gossiping or sharing your hurts with anyone else - keep it between just the two of you, Jesus says.
If the person listens and agrees with what you are saying, agree what needs to change or be dealt with to overcome the problem happening again and then forgive one another.
If the other person does not listen, or refuses to accept there is a problem, you need to move to step 2.
STEP 2: CONFRONT THE PERSON IN THE PRESENCE OF ONE OR TWO WITNESSES
If you can't settle the matter between you privately, then you need to enlist the help of one or two others in the fellowship who can act as witnesses.
The role of witnesses is -
• To ensure a safe environment for airing the perceived problem(s)
• To provide wisdom & a sense of perspective where feelings may run high
If there is agreement about the issues and what needs to be done about them, that's an end of the matter.
Each side needs to accept some of the blame for the problem and seek and receive the other's forgiveness.
Where there is no resolution, a move to step 3 is unavoidable.